Saturday, January 2, 2010

Old Habits Die Hard

I can relate to this saying. When I think things are going very well, along comes the major stress and I completely fall apart.

I have done well so far since the Gastric Bypass surgery, with a total weight loss of about 120 pounds since June. My clothes fit better, I have more energy and the mere thought of walking somewhere, even from my car into a store, does not consume my every emotion. This holiday season I found that I was walking everywhere and for long periods of time and would not even realize I was doing it until I returned to the car.

The holidays arrived and I was feeling very good about the way I was able to handle the stress to food ratio. Then the major stress hit. I lost an old friend in a tragic event and when one of my relatives came home for Christmas, he made plans for his life that did not include his family. These events took over my thoughts and I found myself heading for the closest comfort foods I could find. My hand was dipping into the bag of chocolates left over from a New Year's celebration. What was I doing? This went on for a full 48 hours. I feel like my stomach has expanded, my mood is taking a ride in the back, whipping car of a roller coaster and my self esteem has plummeted. This is all, no doubt due mostly to the high amount of carbohydrates I've loaded into my system in search of comfort and to the thoughts that so negatively affected my weight in the past.

Fortunately, I have recognized my old behaviors quickly and resolved to change them. I cannot let stress and the actions of others affect my goals. The food I am "using" is not comforting me. It is hindering my progress and sending me into a downward spiral. This is the same unconscious eating that brought me to my pre-surgical weight.

I still want to lose another 115 pounds. I am well aware that this is not the way to achieve that goal. Nor do I want to become a statistic-the girl people refer to when they discuss failed Gastric Bypass Surgeries. I am determined to do this for ME.

I am back to the positive thinking and I will be taking action from here forward to get back on track. I bought a blender today and will be getting back to basics by making the Whey Protein shakes that I started on. I also bought yogurt to add to the protein balance.

I will be installing my exercise equipment I received as a gift for Christmas and I will start with that as well.

I will continue to watch for these habits and in the future, all trigger food will be removed from the home when stress begins.

Old habits die hard, but I must be stronger than they are if I wish to banish them for good.

Do you have struggles you want to discuss? Please post below and I will respond. Also, please become a "follower" of my blog to receive updates.

2 comments: