Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Week 13 after Gastric Bypass- I Know, It's Been a While!

It has been a crazy roller coaster ride the past few weeks. I have been reminded by several people (who really need to sign up for blog updates... please) that it has been a long time since I have blogged. I apologize. I've done this in the past and it is something I have to work on about myself. When I get overwhelmed, I shut down and do nothing. There were several times I wanted to blog but had too much to say and not enough time and I didn't know where to start because I wanted to tell everything. So now, I am able to summarize, but that's all you'll get. I short changed you and I'm sorry. I'll work on that. But for now, you've got me.

Some things I am about to share are embarrassing for me, but I have always been, pretty much, an open book with things in my life if I feel they can help someone else. So, if you find yourself judging me for what you're reading, remember, there are other people who struggle with these issues on a daily basis, and for some people, they see no way out. I was just fortunate enough to follow through with one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself - Gastric Bypass Surgery. If you know anyone who is even thinking about gastric bypass surgery, please pass along this blog link. If they have questions, I am available. I've lived this for so long, that I really don't mind sharing any of it. It could, in all honesty, save a life. I believe it did for me.

The first 6 weeks after GAstric Bypass surgery were the hardest. I was in pain, had large incisions that I had doubts would heal, could hardly drink anything, in constant fear of dehydration and malnutrition, and I was missing food, fearing I'd never be able to eat again.

I had two trips to the ER, one for 11 hours and one for 14 hours, both with severe abdominal pain, 8's on a scale of 1-10, requiring CAT scans, both of which came back without explanation for the pain. I was told by my Gastric Bypass Surgeon that everything looked to be healing perfectly and that my body was where it was supposed to be at 6 weeks out but he wanted to be sure there wasn't something wrong with the gallbladder. Most of the time in the first 6 weeks after the Gastric Bypass, in addition to the pain, it felt like when I drank fluids, it was all rushing in my body into a funnel. It would flow fine until it reached the narrow ending then it was a fight to get into my stomach. There's no other way to describe it. There were times I didn't want to bother with anything.

After the second trip to the ER, the Gastric Bypass Surgeon requested a follow-up. I returned to him for an upper endoscopy. They placed a tube with a camera down my throat to view my insides. He found there was errosion that could be causing the pain. He also had a suspicion that I have developed a lactose intellerance. Perfect. Dairy happens to be one of my favorite foods.

I haven't had the pain since I've gone to eating real food, but I also haven't been drinking large quantities of milk in a day either, whereas before, that's all I could have.

After the Gastric Bypass, when I was able to introduce foods, I did it slowly, as suggested. I did not eat unless I had stopped drinking within the past 30 minutes. After a week or so of this, I started with the dumping syndrome. I would get excited that I could actually have real food again and I would enjoy the taste so much that I would eat faster than I should have and end up eating too much, which would sometimes literally be no more than 5 bites of anything. When the last of it would finally reach my stomach, there was no room left for it and it would find it's way back out. It wasn't pleasant. There was one week where I couldn't get anything right. Even a few bites was too much and it would come back up. I started to understand belemia. Again, not where I wanted to be.

This is week 13 since the Gastric Bypass. I have only had a full week free from being sick from food (I had a severe cold, but I'm fine.) I haven't been in pain at all. The only high fat food I've really eaten is pizza. I can eat between 3/4 of a slice to most of a slice, but not all. I make it a rule that I give up eating anything after 30 minutes that I cannot finish in that time period. If I'm short on time, like lunches at work and I feel rushed to eat, I try to remember that it's not a race and I don't have to eat all of it. Sometimes I can finish a half a sandwich with a piece of ham and a piece of cheese, other times it's too much. I stop halfway and see how I feel in a little while. Like any normal person, it depends on the day what will fill me. There are probably a few things I will always stay away from. I have a fear of fried chicken. It's just one thing that my body doesn't digest. At least, it didn't in the beginning and well, why bother, right?

We have a cafeteria at work. Before the Gastric Bypass Surgery, I used to choose whatever I wanted. I still could. The difference is that my choices are better, and smaller. If I go for breakfast I keep the need for protein in mind and although those nicely laid out slices of banana loaf look so delicious (and portioned for 3), I head for a slice of wheat toast, toast 1/2 with peanut butter and eat only 3/4 of the slice. Sometimes I'll get an egg substitute with a piece of bacon. A typical breakfast before Gastric Bypass, I am embarrassed to say, was a drive through the local McDonalds for a breakfast sandwich and hasbrown. The problem started getting worse with their 2 for $3 breakfast sandwich meals. I would forego the hashbrown and eat 2 sandwiches and wash it down with a large Diet Coke. If I went to a sit down breakfast, I used to look at the menu and actually wish there were bigger meals. I could eat 3 pancakes, 3 eggs, 4 pieces of meat, and home fries, always with two Diet Coke refills and be hungry a few hours later. It makes me laugh now. I went to the same place the other day and ordered 2 egg substitutes, omlet style with cheese and 2 sausages with toast. I ate 3/4 piece of toast and 4 bites of the "omlet." My thinking has changed. Now, the menu items don't come with small enough combos. What I would give for a menu that offered my perfect breakfast combo... 1/2 egg, 1/2 sausage, 2 home fries and 2 bites of a pancake or toast. I have had to ask for a manager at places to allow me to eat from the kids menu. I even share with my son sometimes. I am embarrassed to say that I used to eat my own meal AND pick from his plate from what he didn't eat.

Since I'm being so candid, I may as well go further and talk about how I used to eat at other meals before the Gastric Bypass Surgery. A lunch time trip to the cafe could include a number of delicious options. I had several favorites. Alfredo pasta with sausage and a "piece" of garlic bread the size of 1/4 a sub roll, or 2 pieces of pizza (1/3 of a pizza, and only because I knew if I had any more I would feel too guilty walking through the line, because believe me, I have finished a large pizza before,) or a double bacon cheese burger with curley fries, were my 3 favorite choices. You would never see me without a large Diet Coke. I usually could also fit in a piece of cake, or, my favorite, they have a pudding cup, which holds about 2 cups, that was layered with pieces of chocolate cake and whip topping. (Hope I'm not making anyone hungry, blah!) I would then go back in two hours for a vending snack. "Holy Crap!!" I said it for you. When's dinner? That would be my next thought. And I could eat a full dinner too. I thought about food so often that it made me cranky if I had to wait too long or even if I didn't get what I wanted.

Did you know that too many carbs make you crave MORE? It can also cause depression. It was a never ending cycle. I wanted to eat constantly.

So, back to how things have changed since the Gastric Bypass Surgery. Everyone throws it out there, that saying all people who have dieted have heard... "It's a Life Style Change." It would be a good book title I suppose, but it is the truth. My style of life has changed. This will be my third week of really starting to exercise and I can't say I'm close to full-throttle. For those who don't know me, I spent my teen-aged years skating and working at a local roller rink. I'm still DJing there on occassion after 24 years but I haven't really skated in 4 years. Back in May I tried. A few of my friends got together and I tried my skates on. It was like trying to stuff sausages back into their natural casings. They just wouldn't fit. My ankles and feet were too swollen and fat. I tried a few weeks after surgery, in September. I still couldn't skate. I could fit into the skates better, but I could only make it around the rink three times. My shins were on fire and I still didn't have enough energy. Then I tried again in the beginning of October. The skates fit perfectly, and I can handle skating for 20-30 minutes at a time. I'm up to 2 times a week and each time I have tried to build up some stamina and speed. I have a lot further to go to be happy about it, but I've made great progress.

You've told us everything but what we want to know, "how much weight have you lost?" Really? Ok, that's another reason why I haven't written lately. Who wants to read a blog by someone who had weight loss surgery/Gastric Bypass who doesn't really want to talk about how much she's lost because she feels like a failure? Truthfully? I feel like I have been at a stand still for 6 weeks or more. I really haven't and my weight loss is shocking over all, but the point is... Here I am eating less than most toddlers eat in a day and I am not melting like I thought I would. I know, "break out the violins, she's got it rough." (Don't kill me when you see my total so far.) But I actually think I slowed down because I just can't drink enough water to flush everything out and my body is consuming so little that it was in starvation mode for a while. It's okay. I've forgiven it. I lost 10 this week, so I'm not feeling like I've failed. Here's a breakdown of what I've lost...


I headed into surgery with a 30 pound weight loss. Here is what happened after the surgery...


Day/Week Total to date (after surgery)

Day 8.................10 pounds
Day 11...............22 pounds (yes, 12 in 3 days)
Day 15...............29 pounds
5 wks, 4 days...40 pounds (wow, 11 pounds in 3 weeks, most would be grateful)
12 weeks..........50 pounds (see why I haven't posted anything here)
13 weeks...........61 pounds
====================

Yeah, I am seriously, NOT complaining about losing a total of 91 pounds in 4 months! I apologize if that's what it seemed like I was doing. To do that would be like slapping anyone in the face who has ever dieted. I was just thinking that with such a huge start that it would continue as well. I lost 20 pounds in 10 weeks and I am grateful. My body has had a jump start with the exercise, which I should have started a long time ago, but, I was struggling at times with the pain so I'll cut myself a small break there. The activity will increase each week as I gain strength and I will try new things. My clothes are so loose. But every time I buy another size down, I out grow them in the right direction. I can't yet fit into the clothes that were given to me, but thankfully, everyone at work is understanding.

I can't wait to see where I'll be by Christmas (11 weeks from now.) As of now I am 1/3 of the way to an "ideal weight" for my height. This summer should be the best summer of my adult life.

I promise I will report back to you before then. Until I do, make a promise to yourself to do at least 1 think a day to change your bad habits. One less soda, a weigh-in, one less trip through the drive-thru, one less hand-reach toward a family member's left overs, or add 20 minutes of activity today. Whatever it takes. This is not easy. This choice did not come lightly and without serious effort before hand with many failures. Each day is a reminder of where I have been and where many others are and that it wouldn't take much to get back to that place. But I'm not going back there. Come with me. See you on the other side.............




December 08 October 09

Missy

16 comments:

  1. Missy I am so proud of you! None of us will ever know your struggle but posting on your blog is always an inspiration to me. Because of you I started taking a dance class. Just doing something once a week has made me feel better. Keep the faith and take care of yourself.

    Wendy

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  2. Standing ovation sweet sister! 90 pounds - WOW! That's amazing. That's awesome. That's super duper fabulous! You ARE phenomenal!

    Let go of your expectations about what you think other people may or may not think. Trust that we believe you are a success no matter what. You are not on anyone's timetable but your own.

    So very proud of you!

    xxxooooo

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  3. I had surgery 4 weeks ago and have lost a total of 30 lbs. I started to regret having he surgery because I could not eat anything and was starved. I am slowly finding out what my body likes and dislikes and I feel better. I know in time that I will have a healthier life and was right there with you eating whatever. Keep up the good work and thanks you gave me hope...............

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  4. i had surgery 1 week ago, and i feel like i'm dying.... i was so afraid of the pain, but the pain is nothing, whats worst is this stupid liquid diet, i did research and personally know 4 people that have done it, and they all talk great results about it, but no one ever told me about the first weeks and how horrible it is..... :(

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  5. Thank You very much for sharing this story..Iam very happy you did it..Actually Iam not extremely Obese..I need to lose 38 Kilos to get to the perfect weight..My BMI is 36.5...I have been on YoYo dieting for past 20 years..I love fast foods and sugar and I eat big meals..My gastric bypass is scheduled next wednesday but now Iam very afraaaid that i have aches in my stomach..Iam not afraid at all of the surgery itself but the idea that I wil never be able again to taste pizza, Burgers, cakes, pasta and other fast food..I have been reading in many places that you can never eat those again till rest of your life. Also people talking about their hair falling :(..For me the surgery is mainly intended to eat anything but in very small portions not to get deprived of most of the tasty food till rest of my life..Iam getting into a fear phopia now thinking that I only have 3 days left and i will never taste fast food again till I die :( Please advise from your experience...Are thos fears true then I should cancel it

    Your prompt reply is really appreciated..Thank You

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  6. You will be able to eat again...and think of the fact that all those burgers and sweets are what made us fat in the first place...Learn new habits and new things to eat that will satisfy you. I am only one week out...I had those same fears, but you know I feel i will be a healthier happier me...the cake can stay where its at!!!

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  7. I had the surgery 5 weeks ago, lost 30 pounds in 3 weeks but not a pound since, im 63 yrs old and have been told unless i exercise i might not lose much more.I am hardly eating nothing and so frustrated, what can i do, can anyone give me advice.

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    1. I know this is an old post but I will answer if for others who have the same problem. Push yourself a little without trying to act like nothing has changed. I am at 5 weeks and I find myself with very little energy and less appetite. I worked in the yard pulling weeds the other day and thought I was going to have a heart attack. So I'm pulling back and doing things that I can sustain. I go grocery shopping and force myself to take a few extra trips around the store and I park my car further away in the very back of the lot. I still pull weeds but I sit down on the lawn to do it. Small adjustments will get you moving in the right direction.

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  8. Amazing reading this blog. thanks for posting. I had surgery 5/1 and it is now 5/12. I have lost 13 lbs. Up to the surgery I lost 30 lbs so I am up to 43 total. Still have a ways to go. The worst thing is the protein drinks - I hate them. I want to eat so bad. I am trying to hang in there for at least 3 more days and I can move to pureed food. Thanks

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  9. You are an inspiration to me. Thank you. I had my surgery 5 days ago and I am doing ok with the liquid diet. I love soups so I guess that helps. I also have a problem with drinking water. I knew that was going to be my biggest struggle because I didn't drink much before surgery. I am also lucking that I love unsweetened iced tea because that is helping me get I the fluids. (decaf). I am looking forward to the next stage because I love mashed potatoes and cottage cheese. I have a double fractured vertibre, a herniated disc, a slipped disc and degenerative deases in my back so exercise is limited but I have been walking for the last 2 days. So far I have lost 4 pounds . I know it's not a huge amount but I'm pleased. Thanks again for sharing.

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  10. At 40 days post-surgery, I have lost a total (including 10 lbs pre-surgery) of 45 pounds. I've had moments of depression and discouragement, but this is what I signed up for! I needed an external focus for weight loss with a regulator that punishes me for overdoing it. That, in a nutshell, is what bariatric surgery gives you...a referee who calls TIMEOUT!

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  11. Thanks for your post. It's very valuable for people like me who has been seeking alternative to bypass surgery. I'd seen many people who suffers years with not much research prior to a decision. This blog is an eye opener.

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  12. Thank you for your honesty and true experiences, I wish you all the best for the future.

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  13. It has been 22 days since my gastric bypass. Today i am having strong cravings for a burger. And i am on semi solid diet right now. I can not even think of eating anything like a burger right now but cravings are there. I just googled burger and watched pictures of it. It's embarrassing. But you are right. It's a life style change. I have to be strong and your story has given me more confidence. Thanks

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  14. I am so sad. I am 2 months and 13 days since I had the sleeve. Not eating hardly anything and still staying away from the bad things on my list like fried, sweets, chips and all of that good stuff. When I eat maybe I can do four forks of food. Drink lots of tea, in fact I would rather have tea then food but I do eat. I am in a wheelchair so I don’t walk not even a little bit, but I just started going back to the gym and working pretty hard when I am there. My problem is I nor any of my people can really see a weight loss in me. How can I have the new stomach the size of a golf ball with little to nothing to eat and not really lose any weight?

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  15. Learn about weight loss surgery help from Inova, a regional leader in treatment for obesity.let me know that what is cost of weight loss surgery in India..

    Ashmita

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